What Agnès Whispered

(severely or so it seemed initially) in the corridor
under the Tina Modotti poster Tinisima!
after the guests had departed the dinner party
which I thought had gone smashingly
everything so scrumptious and almost everyone so repartee-ful
and assured her thus much to her delight
so that she conceded a smile
she couldn’t begrudge me that
and her blush from July itself
but more from the triumph of it all mounted one shade roser
so adorable is she to me
I did truly want to kiss her
and she said thanks thanks so much for coming for helping
for navigating the cliques for melting some of the frost
but I noticed something in your eye she continued
the consternation when you saw Klára again with Anna
don’t try to hide or deny it you can’t I saw it
don’t think you know it all how to say don’t assume
that because Klára can’t sail or even lumber through the topics of the day
or even that she always seems so glazed over
appears eager to leave
seems removed behind a sheer of indifference
revives only when the talk turns to literary gossip
don’t assume you know what happens when their door closes
when their lights are dimmed when she and Anna return to ease
without the need for chatter bright and glossy and pointed
don’t assume you know we can ever understand the shape of that transition
the specificity of her limbs entwined with Anna’s
the contours of their together lips
their hair braided fleetingly in restlessness
her hands locked over Anna’s mouth over Anna’s wrists
don’t think we have lost Anna
or that she is no longer ours a part of us
don’t mourn the disappearance of the old Anna
our hikes in the mountains our walks through galleries
our laughing on the last ride of the night Ferris wheel
our demonstrations in the plaza outside the embassy
our arrest that night together in the cell with its unmentionables
however absorbed however now distilled disheveled distracted
don’t even think there is an Anna of yore
only know this is still our Anna this is the only Anna
we must stay with her

Tina Modotti (1896-1942), photographer, model, actress, revolutionary